Today was my last session of "weight no more" my 6 week hypnotherapy program with Jo at High Plains Healing & Hypnosis, whom I consider to be my Fairy Godmother. There's so many feelings inside me about what I want to say about exactly what this whole journey has done for me and not enough page...
This was a weight release program, and like most people I started thinking "here we go I better be walking out at the end of this program looking like Heidi Klum!" The first thing she taught is we do not "lose" weight we will be releasing it because what we lose we tend to try and find again. Ok I can go with that now to the part where you give me the hypnotherapy and I wake up skinny or at least the urge to run 10 miles... And this is where the real release began. We talked about what hurts. What in my life has gotten me to the point where I don't love myself. I told her I have a hard time looking in the mirror without picking myself apart into a million pieces. I have negative words and remarks and comments that have been said to me from the time I was very young to teen years all the way into my adulthood that just echo in my ears. The remarks that continue to bring you down and regardless of any progress you make with eating healthy or working out there's always that whisper in your mind of "you won't, you can't do it, why try, you will fail." Ultimately you do. I mean without letting go of the negativity and the doubt and self- loathing in your mind how could you ever really commit to changing yourself? Like truly changing yourself from your outside to the most important part your inside, your soul.
Session one I walked out going "holy smokes...this is way more then what I was planning for." Sessions 2, 3 and 4 were about power and control and worth, the meal plan and of course the hypnotic gastric band, meal plans etc... The power of the mind didn't even elude me until I'm sitting down to dinner and maybe a quarter through my usual scarf it all down meals, I'm looking at my small bites going GAHHH I am beyond stuffed. It wasn't till the end of the week of the same ongoing feeling that I'm going OMG IT'S THE BAND I'M DOING THIS! MY MIND IS DOING THIS!! Then the meal plan with it wasn't your usual go starve yourself and eat half an apple and some salad, and a cup of rice for dinner. Following when you’re done go take whatever miniscule amount of energy you have left and go run a marathon at the gym. With the help of your mind from Jo, and your body health from Sierra, I was eating and I WASN'T HUNGRY! I'm losing weight, and I'm not starving and burning out doing so. Years of diets, diet pills, and trainers and I can say Iv been going about it all wrong! This is truly new and something we can make work. It's a life change not a diet change.
Sessions 5 and 6...I don't even know where to begin. By this point things are changing in my life...I feel alive. I feel strong and I feel like I am beautiful and I am worth more than every mean comment ever made to me. I can breath and look in the mirror and finaly see me the me that I want people to see.
By this point I am down 14 lbs. What nobody tells you is the weight you hold onto in your mind that your letting go is the biggest relief. This program is real, it's not a one size fits all. Self worth is priceless, losing the weight is the cherry on top.
Jo thank you for this gift of loving myself. I feel like a mouse who was hiding in a hole who finally came out into the world and turns out there's been a lion inside me the entire time.